I’m really annoyed with myself. Last night at a meeting I got angry and didn’t practice the kind of self control that I expect of myself. There’s no excuse for it, and as it’s so unbelievably rare for me to get angry, it’s playing on my mind. I rang the person afterwards who caught the brunt of it, and he was very very gracious about it. But, no excuses at all. I’m really annoyed with myself. Bad behaviour.
I’m pretty certain that it’s mostly down to exhaustion. Trying to juggle too many balls at once means that my brain and body are feeling a bit disconnected. And the worst of it is that I end up not being as effective as I need to be at anything I do.
Thus, I’m so looking forward to the Christmas holidays. Having some time out – and I do mean 100% out – is critical for our family. Time to simply be present with one another: physically proximate in the same place; emotionally alert and available; selflessly serving one another; and enjoying the wonders of parenthood, childhood and the miracle of Christ’s birth.
All in all, I perhaps haven’t looked forward to Christmas this much in years.
I live with my family in Wrecclesham (Rach, and our two children Caleb and Heidi), and together we all run a coffee shop and farm shop in the village (Smith & Causey at the Farnham Pottery).
There are precedents – overturning tables in the Temple, for example – and I doubt you did any harm, that would not be like you.
Sometimes it helps to make your position quite clear. Were you wrong in what you said? Is it really you that should be apologising, or the people responsible for the situation that so vexed you?
You’re definitely right about ane thing – savour your Christmas with the kids. Experience shows they tend to grow up and become teenagers…
Merry Christmas!
Thanks Jerry. But I was definitely over the top, hence such disappointment.
However, your encouraging words are welcome, and I sincerely wish you a Merry Christmas, and look forward to continued conversation in the New Year.